TWIN PEAKS PREDICTIONS
by Tommy Burton and Rusty Spell

Tommy and Rusty speculate on what will happen in the new Twin Peaks series as well as the new Twin Peaks book The Secret History of Twin Peaks released by Mark Frost.

What Happened in Twin Peaks?
by Tommy Burton

Please let it be noted that these spoilers or predictions are not based on anything other than pure speculation. I have not and refuse to read anything concerning the upcoming new series of Twin Peaks. For full disclosure, I have seen the cast list, but nothing more. I do plan to devour the new Mark Frost book, The Secret History of Twin Peaks. But none of the information contained here is influenced by anything other than my own imagination. On other words, none of these things are probably going to happen.

Everything and everyone will be broken down into "families" or "groups."

The Law

Dale Cooper / Kyle MacLachlan. Obviously, when we left Special Agent Cooper he was waiting in the Black Lodge while his doppelganger was in our world. Shortly after the show ends, he will go on hunting spree for Annie Blackburn. His strange behavior will raise questions among his peers leading to him being locked up for insanity. Clues will be given, but entry to the Lodge will become impossible. A new murder in Twin Peaks will lead the FBI back to the town and eventually lead to the (re)discovery of the Lodge and its inhabitants (including the real good Cooper who is "stuck there and he can't get out").

Sheriff Harry S. Truman / Robert Forster. Yes. Truman will played by Robert Forster. I know Michael Ontkean is not returning to his role and Forster was Lynch's original choice to play the part. Truman eventually retires as sheriff, but plays an advisory role to the FBI since he is familiar with both Cooper, the Black Lodge, and the town's murders.

Tommy "The Hawk" Hill / Michael Horse. Conventional wisdom tells me that he becomes the sheriff of Twin Peaks.

Andy Brennan / Harry Goaz and Lucy Moran / Kimmy Robertson. These two get married and Lucy has her baby. My heart is telling me that this child will be new cast member Michael Cera. For good measure, he is also a deputy. He is awkward, like his father, but more adept since he is also very perceptive, like his mother.

??? / Laura Dern. Another hunch, but something tells me that she will be an FBI agent (or possibly Diane herself) looking for the real Cooper. Most of the new series will be focused on her putting together the clues in her search. All of the other players will play roles in this search.

The Rest. This includes the FBI agents like Denise Bryson / David Duchovny, Albert Rosenfield / Miguel Ferrer, and Gordon Cole / David Lynch. They will be closely following the whereabouts of The Black Lodge and looking for Cooper.

The Palmers

Sarah Palmer / Grace Zabriskie. Sarah continues to have visions pointing to The Black Lodge and its inhabitants.

Leland Palmer / Ray Wise. He appears to Sarah in her visions. His doppelganger is in the Lodge with Cooper along with…

Laura Palmer (Maddy Ferguson) / Sheryl Lee.

The Hornes

Audrey Horne / Sherilyn Fenn. Audrey survives the bank blast. She spends months in a coma, but it is discovered that she is pregnant with John Wheeler's child. Wheeler dies in a plane crash as he was traveling to South America. Their daughter will be played by Amanda Seyfried. Audrey completely recovers and takes her place in the Horne empire and restores the family to prominence in Twin Peaks along with…

Ben Horne / Richard Beymer. After nearly going off the deep end (again), after facing the loss of his daughter, Horne fights back. He becomes the mayor of Twin Peaks, giving control of his empire to Audrey and…

Jerry Horne / David Patrick Kelly. Works with Mayor Ben (secretly) to hatch plots to control the town along with Audrey.

The Packards / Martels

These families are no longer players in Twin Peaks, all members having died or lost their fortunes. Pete and Andrew die in the bank vault blast. Catherine tries to fight Ben Horne, but is blocked at every turn eventually dying mysteriously. (Although Horne is implicated, there is no evidence to support this.)

The Haywards

William Hayward / Warren Frost. Doc Hayward eventually retires and is now a widower with the loss of Eileen. His daughters Donna, Harriet, and Gersten look after him.

Gersten Hayward / Alicia Witt. She follows in her father's footsteps and becomes a prominent physician in the town.

Donna Hayward / ???. James Hurley returns to Twin Peaks and they try to resume their romance. Eventually, they break up and she ends up becoming a prominent businesswoman in Twin Peaks. She is still romantically involved with Mike Nelson / Gary Hershberger.

The Hurleys

Big Ed Hurley / Everett McGill. He eventually marries Norma and is still owns the gas farm.

Nadine Hurley / Wendy Robie. She is taken care of by James and has spent the majority of her time in and out of asylums.

James Hurley / James Marshall. James takes up residence at the Roadhouse and work with the Roadhouse Singer / Julee Cruise on music. As a Bookhouse Boy, he often helps with local investigations and keep his ear to the ground on new developments surrounding The Black Lodge.

The Diner

Norma Jennings / Peggy Lipton. Married to Ed Hurley, Norma is still running the RR along with her partner Shelley Johnson (Briggs) / Madchen Amick who is now married to Bobby Briggs / Dana Ashbrook. Heidi / Andrea Hays is still coming in late.

I know this doesn't cover everyone or everything and there are lots of returning and new names in Twin Peaks, but I think this takes care of the bigger ones. I honestly want to be surprised by everything that happens in the new series. I also have confidence and faith that it will all be a great journey back into this world.

Next Time on Twin Peaks
by Rusty Spell

I was seventeen years old in 1992 when Fire Walk With Me, the movie prequel to the Twin Peaks TV series (1990-1991) came out. I thought that film would be the last time I got to visit that world created by David Lynch, and I was glad to have it. Twenty-five years later, in 2017, we're getting a third season. And today, we get a novel, The Secret History of Twin Peaks by series co-creator Mark Frost, which (probably anyway, since I haven't read it yet) bridges the gap between the events of the first two seasons and the much later third one.

On the television show Twin Peaks, each episode took place over a twenty-four hour period of time, so that everything that happened (and there was a ton!) happened in about a month. So what would happen in a crazy town like that in twenty-five years? We'll find out soon enough, but -- in the meantime -- I thought I might offer some predictions.

I say "predictions," but these are not really what I think will happen in the novel or on the show. My guess is that Lynch and Frost will come up with stuff so brand new that it will just seem like a new series, in spite of old characters being present. So is it more of a wish of what I hope will happen? No, it's not really that either, since I -- too -- would take the show in radically different directions (mostly "correcting" some of the problems of the first two seasons) if I were making it myself. Instead, think of these as something between a prediction and a wish, with each informing the other. I suppose "logical conclusions" is really what these are, based on what I know of the characters and their personalities.

Whatever you want to call these speculations (how about "speculations"?), enjoy them, and don't take them too seriously. The real thing is happening again.

Agent Dale Cooper

I assume fans most want to know what happens to Agent Cooper, who was last seen smashing his head against a bathroom mirror, possessed by BOB, possibly not even himself but some Black Lodge doppelganger. The answer: eh, nothing much.

BOB will live inside of Cooper the same way he lived inside of Leland for all those years, minus the incestuous crimes against his daughter. There will be no immediate murders or anything (oh! except for his shooting Windom Earle in cold blood when he emerges from the Lodge, but no one in town really minded that). However, BOB will take Cooper down different paths, mostly turning the FBI agent's own obsessive and perfectionist personality against him, using it for bad instead of good, but so subtly that no one much notices.

Cooper will remain in the FBI and mostly live in Philadelphia, but he finally does get some real estate in Twin Peaks and lives there often enough to be considered a member of the town--found, occasionally, in flannel.

So how's Annie? The experience with Windom Earle was too much of a freak-out for her, and she returns to the nunnery. This would bother Cooper except that, of course, BOB doesn't care. Instead, Cooper -- now that she's a few years older and out of high school -- rekindles his never-got-started relationship with Audrey Horne. (It never gets started again, but it's fun to watch it not get started.)

The real story of the new show is that it's twenty-five years later. The reason all those crazy things were happening in Twin Peaks that month in 1989 was because crazy things happen in Twin Peaks every twenty-five years. Yes, it's a little nutty all the time, but I'm talking about the supernatural stuff: Lodge stuff, BOB, all that. Teresa Banks was a warm-up, and Laura Palmer and what it opened up cosmically was a Major Event. Another Major Event is happening in Season Three, and it causes everyone to come together and explode once again.

That's why BOB is more or less dormant in Cooper until the "Twenty-Five Years Later" dream crashes back in on him. Cooper realizes that "the Good Dale" is in the Lodge with Laura and that he is -- in fact -- merely a doppelganger of himself. Is all this literal or figurative or what? Both!

By way of explanation, listen to my favorite line from  Keith Phipps's review of Fire Walk With Me: "It’s a film about a girl who loses the elaborate fantasy system protecting her from realizing her father is her abuser, but it also presents that fantasy system as a real, malevolent force being investigated by the FBI."

The physical world and dreams are layered on top of each other, and they are both "real" and they both affect each other. This is the premise of Twin Peaks that eventually gets solidified in Season 3. While Season 2 said "Eh, BOB did it" and Fire Walk With Me said "No, actually, Leland was just as much to blame," Season 3 shows how someone can be influenced by their environment but still be blamed for committing an evil action--in this case, the "environment" being the mythology of the town itself: its inhabitants' visions, characters, evil spirits, owls, things they imagine they see in the woods, everything.

This also happened, more or less, during the Salem Witch trials, so it's not too out there after all.

The good news is that the Good Dale does eventually face himself, Superman 3 style, and defeat his evil counterpart, emerging victorious and better than ever. The return of the real Agent Dale Cooper is signaled by Coop dusting off his old Diane tape recorder--then throwing it away and purchasing something more state-of-the-art, because this is Agent Cooper who always had the newest gadgets ("Voice activated, Harry!") and was not one for nostalgia.

We will love watching Cooper investigate the Major Event, which is not -- by the by -- a murder.

The FBI

In order to help pull Cooper out of the Lodge, he needs some rescuers. (Again, the "Lodge" is both literal and figurative.) So Albert appears in town to talk some sense into Coop. Chet Desmond even appears, David Bowie style! Denise Bryson is back, and -- in a rare nod to current events -- makes a joke about having to go into the man's bathroom (in pursuit of a bad guy).

And, of course, we get Gordon Cole, who is basically unchanged. He spells out the premise of the show to a green FBI agent who protests that they are investigating the wrong things: "I COULDN'T MAKE OUT EVERYTHING YOU SAID, BUT ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT WHEN A GIRL SAYS HER FATHER BECOMES A DEMON WHEN HE IS ABUSIVE, WE SHOULD BE DEALING WITH THE FATHER INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR AN ACTUAL DEMONIC MONSTER IN THE WOODS AT NIGHT?"

"Yes, this is what I'm saying," says the green FBI agent.

"I COULDN'T DISAGREE MORE, JUNIOR. SAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT I'M ALMOST 100 PERCENT DEAF, BUT THERE IS ONE DINER WAITRESS IN THE WORLD WHO I CAN HEAR PERFECTLY? EXPLAIN THAT ONE TO ME!"

In Series 3, Gordon helps Cooper investigate the Major Event as well as other Blue Rose Cases (which are like X-Files but less stupid). The Little Man and MIKE, as always, are there to help. So is Carl Rodd from the trailer park.

The Sheriff Department

After the death of Josie, the alcohol, BOB, the disappearance of Cooper in front of his eyes, the head-smashing, the fact that he almost completely failed at solving the Laura Palmer case, Hank Jennings's friendship betrayal, and years of years of dealing with Bookhouse Boys shenanigans, Sheriff Harry S. Truman has finally had enough of gut-punching and leaves town, presumably to live as far away from these old woods as possible.

He is replaced by Hawk as sheriff, who is just as reliable and sturdy as Harry was. Hawk keeps a large photo of Harry on his office wall and won't let anyone say anything about him, even though most of the town things Harry went nuts.

Deputy Andy Brennan is still around and is actually a decent cop now ("best sharpshooter in the tri-state area"), but he's still goofy Andy. He is the father of five children, some of whom may even be his, since his wife Lucy is not quite sure. There is the first child (Michael Cera), now twenty-five years old, who may be Dick Tremayne's (which is why Dick is still around, bugging Lucy and the kid but getting into all kinds of Scooby-Doo trouble with Andy). There was the second child that happened when Andy took too long asking Lucy to marry him. There was the third child that happened when Andy took too long actually getting married. There was the fourth child during the divorce. And there was the fifth child after they re-married that is almost certainly Andy's, though who can say?

Lucy stopped working for the sheriff department after having a couple of babies. She now runs a business from home selling sweaters.

Deputy Hawk seems to be the one who understand the town the most. When one of the new characters asks how he deals with all the supernatural weirdness of the town while everyone else seems to be going to hell, Hawk says, with a raise of his chin, "For my ancestors, what you see as strange is as natural as the trees and the rivers. The problem is that no one will accept the spiritual realm as reality. I do, and this is why I am content."

The Palmer Family

While Laura's earthly story is over, Laura is now a Lodge inhabitant who sometimes takes the form of a person in the real world, a kind of replacement for Mrs. Tremond. In Season 3, it's unclear (just as it was with Mrs. Tremond) whether Laura is "good" or not, but we begin to realize that these binaries aren't quite as present anymore.

Leland, too, is a Lodge dweller and is now the new face of BOB (instead of Frank Silva). It is who Cooper sees when he is able to see his inner self in the mirror (before the Superman 3 moment, of course).

Sarah Palmer becomes something like the local witch. She lives in her old haunted house where her niece Maddy was murdered and where her daughter was molested every night by her father before being murdered in the woods. Not many people come to see her, mostly because she runs them off, though sometimes she will let people in if she feels she needs to share a vision with them (which is why they appear, to get the vision). Sarah is the Log Lady if the Log Lady were super-dark. In fact, Sarah managed to get the piece of furniture that Josie Packard's soul is trapped in and keeps it next to her recliner. Her own wood spirit to talk to!

The original Log Lady, incidentally, is dead. She died in a fire. Some say it was a suicide, but Sarah knows better, and she will tell the truth one day.

Oh, and Sarah has something of a sidekick: Ronette Pulaski. Ronny is still haunted by visions (not necessarily of BOB) and they share this trait. Ronette, however, has also seen her guardian angel, so she occasionally brings light to Sarah's dark world.

Maddy Ferguson, of course, is wherever good souls go when they get brutally murdered by their uncle just because they look like someone else, but -- in a disturbing scene -- Maddy gets sucked out of wherever that is and into the real world, where she says something freaky and then disappears.

The Horne Family

After what looks like the attempted murder of Ben Horne in the final episode, Doctor Hayward is sent to jail. Meanwhile, Ben recovers from his wounds, redoubles his efforts to get in good with the Hayward family, eventually divorces Sylvia in order to marry Eileen, and then does marry Eileen. "This is how it always should have been," Ben says to a horrified Donna Hayward, who eventually leaves town to find James. (Donna is not featured in the show.)

After reclaiming (sort of) his daughter Donna and Eileen, Ben Horne successfully runs for the Senate, which gives him enough power to save the pine weasel and the Ghostwood forest. Though some of the older people in the town still don't trust him, Ben seems like a reformed man (especially after his bout with Civil War insanity and a knock on the head, which many blame for his turnaround), but here's a little secret: he isn't reformed, and he never was!

Brother Jerry lets out squeals of delight in a much later episode when Ben reveals himself to his brother.

After being in jail for twenty-five years, however (an extra-long sentence that Ben helped arrange), Doc Hayward is finally set free. His primary storyline is trying to get his family back. Helping him in this endeavor is his two youngest daughters, who finally get to be stars of the show.

But what about Audrey? What about her and John Justice Wheeler? The quick answer is that he was just a teenage love interest, just like Cooper but more realistic, though less interesting. After their decidedly unromantic sex on the airplane, they don't see much of each other. When they eventually do, John is simply one of Audrey Horne's associates, since she has taken over the family business now that Ben has larger interests. There is zero percent chemistry, and why would there be?

So, yes, Audrey is back to being Season 1 sexy instead of Season 2 uptight, but older now and with less to prove, so she contains it better. Is she bad? Yes, she's more or less bad. She's more or less Ben Horne. She even owns One-Eyed Jacks, if you can believe it!

Oh, and though Audrey doesn't die in the bank vault explosion, Pete Martell does, along with Andrew Packard and the old banker. Pete is sometimes brought up wistfully. Catherine survives and has another realization about her life, similar to the time she thought she saw a guardian angel. She goes off to live as a hermit in the woods where she saw the angel, presumably to die.

Since most of the Packard-Martells are now dead, Audrey steps in and easily takes what was theirs. But Ben might want it back.

The Briggs, Jennings, Hurley, Johnson Collective

Major Briggs disappears again, to the White Lodge or outer space or who knows where, and isn't seen or even talked about much in the show. Once, he speaks a weird message through Bobby, but that's about it.

Bobby and Shelley get married and have a daughter, Amanda Seyfried. Bobby continually fails at his attempts at (often shady) business, but he is basically a good husband and father. Sometimes his life seems ideal, and -- before the major disappeared -- he gets to experience the vision his father had of Bobby.

Shelley is the backbone of the family, especially financially, since she is now the new owner of the RR Diner. When Nadine returned to herself in the last episode, Norma Jennings and Big Ed Hurley took off to go live elsewhere together, only letting Shelley and Bobby know where they went. (Bobby took over the gas station for a while, but he ran it into the ground.)

However, because of some of the more domestic goings-on resulting from the Major Event, Norma and Ed are forced to return to Twin Peaks. They are also forced to deal with the wrath of Nadine, who has teamed up with Hank Jennings, a partner in crime and an emotional support (though, of course, he doesn't love her or anything).

Another person who is forced to return to the town after twenty-five years is James (who comes without Donna). He falls in love with Bobby and Shelley's daughter, much to the chagrin of Bobby. ("I don't want some old hippy biker hooking up with my little girl!")

And guess who else is back? Leo! As it turns out, when tarantulas inside a wooden case fall on top of your head, you don't automatically die. So clever Leo was eventually able to escape that trap, when it became clear that Windom Earle wasn't coming back to the cabin. Leo leaves town and more or less becomes a civilized person ("I paid my debt to society," he says again; only this time, he's earned it), but when he returns to Twin Peaks because of the Major Event, no one trusts him and all hell breaks loose.

What Else?

Dr. Jacoby is still a wacky and eccentric psychiatrist who gets unprofessional with the new teens in town. Chrysta Bell is the new roadhouse singer (replacing Julee Cruise, who appears sometimes). Mike Nelson (aka "Snake") is the new mayor of the town and has married Lana, the old mayor's wife. Little Nicky and Evelyn do not appear.

Conclusion

The real show will be more interesting than any of this, and this is pretty interesting!