Noby's Movie Reviews
by Noby
Nobriga
Totally Awesome, 2006
Totally Aweful.
King Kong, 2005
Way too much fighting on the island. "Hurry up and fall from the
building, already." Too many computers. Not that great.
Forbidden Planet, 1956
Send people into space. Send others to check in with them. Find them
all dead, save two. It's unbelievable to me that this movie was created
in the 1950s because of the wonderful special effects and science. The
special effects here are many times better than more recent movies.
Except for a very few aspects, it's not overburdened with datedness. A
great classical Greek sci-fi drama.
American Dreamz, 2006
It tries too hard to be two different movies. If it would concentrate on
one theme (American Idol spoof or political satire), then it
might be
all right to pretty good. We're given the most (relatively) complex
character development with Omer, but the evolution is way too brief.
We're too busy bouncing around between all of these uninteresting,
one-dimensional characters (some more than others) that we have no time
to care about anyone. We have no reason to care about Martin or Sally.
They're just unlikable. To me, the entire movie feels like a group of
people locked themselves in a room and scribbled out a script in an
overnight marathon writing session. The sun begins to rise and they need
an ending, quick. So, they slap something on that one could only imagine
as brilliant at the crack of dawn while deprived of sleep. It has a few
moments and lines here and there. But, just here and there, and just a
few. It's got good people in it. But, it's not that good itself. Good
people. Bad movie.
Insomnia, 1997
A pretty good thriller from Norway. A detective and
his partner setup a trap to catch a murderer. The
detective accidently shoots his partner and tries to
cover it up. The suspect witnesses the
killing. And, everything takes place in the Land of
the Midnight Sun. Good direction, great dialogue,
and a guilty conscience. A great movie.
(Norwegian and Swedish with subtitles).
Election, 1999
The race for student body president and an obnoxious
overachiever turns a teacher's life into decadence and
chaos. Very funny. It took me six years to
see this movie. In that time, I saw other movies
and grew to like and enjoy Reese Witherspoon. But,
this movie made me fall in love with Reese
Witherspoon. A really great movie.
Flirting, 1991
In Australia, a boy in a boarding school meets a new girl
from across the lake, they fall for each other.
Well, it's just about as simple as that, and you can
guess the numerous things that they might do. A
couple of scenes are a little arousing... To complicate
things a little, she's black and he's white. And,
although in many places you find the synopsis of the
movie to be more about interracial relationship
prejudice, that's minor and almost a non-issue.
It's more about, simply, young love, including all of the
obstacles. Oh, Nicole Kidman plays a minor
role. A very enjoyable movie. (Australian
with subtitles.)
Fröken Sverige
(Miss Sweden), 2004
Getting walked all over is never fun. Fitting in
with her protesting, vegan friends is more work than
natural for Moa. Conflict erupts between them when
she finds out that they think of her as a silly cartoon
character. As well, she has trouble maintaining
normal relationships with men. A good and funny
movie. Directorial debut for Tova
Magnusson-Norling, and starring the lovely, and very
talented, Alexandra Dahlström.
Well-directed. My favorite performers are Alexandra
(Moa) and Leo Hallerstam (Jens). I like it a lot.
(Swedish with subtitles.)
Roadie, 1980
Nice guy Meat Loaf plays nice guy Travis Redfish who
falls into a roadie job. Lots of horrible 70s
cookie-cutter, stereotyped, one-dimensional, plastic
characters bound about. Including one of the sub-plots to
the love story sub-plot: Groupie-chick Meat likes wants
to lose her virginity to Alice Cooper. I think I just
made the movie sound more interesting than it really is.
There's nothing good about this movie except two things.
1. It has a number of famous people (However, they don't
even play interesting parts or are interesting).
2. Blondie fights with a bunch of midgets.
Of course, I'm biased. Blondie is really the only reason
I watched the movie. And, I'm glad I did. I got to see
Blondie being cool. But everything not Blondie is crap.
Blondie performs "Ring of Fire." Cut out
everything except for the Blondie stuff and package that
stuff as some obscure Blondie release, and you'd have
something good. However, that's not what this is. This is
a bad movie along the lines of Sergeant Pepper's
Lonely Hearts Club Band.
10, 1979
Dudley Moore and Bo Derek. The classic. To me, the
classic bore. Dudley is with Julie Andrews (this was her
"return" movie), and goes through a mid-life
crisis with Bo Derek. The only interesting things about
the movie is you get to see Bo Derek naked, other
miscellaneous chicks naked, and Julie Andrews is sexy and
curses. Even the mother of all dirty words. That's it.
Other than that, nothing but tedious boredom. Did I
mention it was a boring movie? Mr. Sellers, should've
just stuck with La Pantera Rosa.
Midnight Cowboy, 1969
An all right movie. A lot of references are made to this
movie. It has some good scenes and the story is a little
interesting. A naive male prostitute tries to make it in
New York and tries to help his new friend get better. A
good ending. All right.
Easy Rider, 1969
Simply, a boring movie that meanders. Nothing interesting
except perhaps the ending. Though, it's only slightly
interesting because it's abrupt and nonsensical. A couple
of hog ridin' dudes head to New Orleans with some weed.
Not good.
Ponette, 1996
If you want to see a movie that is very sad (and perhaps
depressing). If you want to see a movie with a
four-year-old girl (Victoire Thivisol) who can really act
(I'm talking about the complete opposite of Baby
Geniuses). If you want to see a great movie that you
might just want to see once. See this movie. A
four-year-old girl must come to terms with the fact that
her mother died in a car wreck and is not coming back.
It's got a French ending. A lot of people would probably
argue that the whole movie is just trying to "force
an emotion" onto you. I would disagree. I don't like
attempts at "forced emotion." A great movie.
(French with subtitles).
The Passion of the
Christ, 2004
The Passion of the Christ is one big glass of tea. There
is some ice in there. However, they're all different
shapes. Some are cubes. Some are crescent-shaped. Others
are cylindrical with holes through them. A bit of crushed
ice swims around, too. Someone tries to stir the tea
vigorously with a blender. At the same time, the
tea-maker is dumping in five-pound bags of sugar one
after the other. Eventually, a little more than two hours
later, the blender is turned off. There's some remnants
of a few pieces of ice still hanging around, though you
can't quite tell if they were once cubes, crescents, or
some of shape. They're not able to cool the tea much
anymore. Most of the sugar dumped in has not been able to
dissolve, but, instead, has settled into a huge mound at
the bottom of the glass. Even that little extra bit of
sugar that dissolved when the water was still warm has
come out. The tea looks more syrupy, now. But, someone
picks up the glass and gulps down almost every drop of
the tea and half of the mound of sugar. Now, there is a
glass still with sugar filling the bottom. Sprinkles of
un-dissolved sugar along one side of the glass on the
inside. A small lump of ice still sits in the bottom.
And, a tiny bit of tea just won't let go of the bottom
edge of the glass. The drinker states, "Mmm! That's
the sweetest tea I ever drank!"
So, I must ask: Were you
drinking for the sugar or the tea?
Vaudeville, 1997
A documentary about the lost arts and world of
vaudeville. Not a terribly great documentary. For me, it
stay just interesting enough. It can teach you some
things and you can see some things. The things they show
weren't all terribly funny, though there was some comedy
now and then. Overall, informative. You don't get any
words from any of the big shots of the time. Mostly just
their names mentioned. You learn about funny people you
never heard of. Don't see it unless you are interested in
vaudeville or such things. You'll just get really bored.
An all right documentary.
Kissing Jessica Stein,
2001
A story about a woman out of "man-luck" who
takes a chance at "something new" and finds
someone great. Indie. Everyone in it is indie. In almost
a bad way, but just short of bad, I think. I like the
actress/writer in the lead. A typical romantic comedy
about relationships. Includes a "blind dates gone
bad" montage. Not a movie guys would normally be
interested in... No guys, really, you wouldn't be
interested... An all right movie.
The Good Girl, 2002
Jennifer Aniston in a wonderful role. A married woman
unhappy, seeks a little more from life than monotony and
finds it in a young man who seems to be a little bit off
center causing her to make decisions she never dreamed
she would have to make. Jennifer Aniston is one of my
favorite actresses, if not my very favorite. A little
melancholy. Though it seems a bit passé to say, it is
interesting and enjoyable to see Jennifer play a
"bad girl" role. I can't really divide the film
into components, but, as a whole, I see it as a good
average film worth a try with some interesting events
within. But, if you care about Jennifer Aniston at all,
it's a "must-see." A great movie.
Lost in Translation,
2003
Excellent. I really like The Virgin Suicides, but I think
this is Sophia's best. A B or C-List actor from
California makes a few commercials in Tokyo, where he's
popular. He's not very enthused. He meets someone else
from the States who is in a gray mood. The two form a
relationship connected by the melancholy lives into which
each has married. With each other, they're able to find a
little joy in the middle of their seemingly dreary lives.
From the beginning, even watching the mysterious
trailers, I fell in love with the environment, this
skewed Bob and Charlotte view of Tokyo. Like many people
may turn up trance grooves and somewhat "zone
out," I can play this movie and drift away within my
head. Watching this movie feels like I'm drifting through
night-time, floating along comfortably and well-rested,
with a smile somewhere in me. I can't see it or pull it
out, but I know it's there. A little like nitrous oxide
in a darkened room. Dreamy. Funny, not hilarious. And
that's exactly how this movie should be. Not pretentious
like my reviews. And, not trying too hard. She hit it. An
excellent movie.
Fucking Åmål (Show Me
Love), 1998
In the small town of Åmål, Sweden, two girls fall in
love. I'll use a word that is a bit of the most overused
word to describe anything with teenagers in it: angst.
Now that I think about it, it reminds me of Welcome to
the Dollhouse. But, they're not similar. To me, this
is much, much better. A lot of hand-held work. Some great
(translated) dialog. Is and looks indie and low-budget,
but in a good way. Certainly has a fan following (as do
the actresses). An excellent movie. (Swedish with
subtitles. I find Swedish intriguing.)
Love Story, 1970
The classic. He's the rich boy and she's the poor girl.
It's a story of love. Heartswells and heartaches.
Directed by Arthur Hiller (Silver Streak, Outrageous
Fortune, Married To It, The Babe),
starring Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal. A great movie.
Mies vailla
menneisyyttä (The Man Without a Past), 2002
Directed by Aki Kaurismaki (Leningrad Cowboys Go
America, Ariel), in the vein of Ariel,
the story of a man who gets beat up, then is put down,
has to deal with crap after crap, meets a woman and ends
up in an all right place. All with no change of
expression. He just stands up and moves on. It almost
seems depressing, but you know that things were once
worse. Humor so dry, Hawkeye Pierce can be seen crawling
through the Sahara in search of a dry martini. After all,
it's Finnish. A good movie. Uplifting in a sort of dreary
gray way (like Ariel). (Finnish with subtitles.)
Le Fabuleux destin
d'Amélie Poulain (Amélie), 2001
It looks French. But it's great! Artfully directed with a
very interesting story around a very interestingly pretty
girl who finds happiness for herself while making others
happy. It's good in spite of being French. (French with
subtitles.)
All Quiet on the
Western Front, 1930
An excellent movie if you're one of them war protesters.
A great movie if you can appreciate early cinema. Young
men with misguided dreams go off to war to die. Excellent
battle scenes. Some of the best work I've ever seen in
action and war movies. A good classic film (in terrible
technical quality). (Black and white.)
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