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Universal Studios First off, we like Universal Studios, but it has some problems. Carrie went the first year it opened, and she was disappointed, but it has improved a lot since then. They’ve added a lot more and it feels much more like a theme park. This was Rusty’s first time, and he still feels it’s a little small since you can sweep through the thing easily in a day. Carrie doesn’t find the smallness to be a problem; it’s just one park, after all. But, in a way, it still feels like a thrown-together park to compete with and/or mooch off of guests of Disney World. The "ride the movies" idea is a good one, but some of the movies featured here aren't aging that well. One problem might be that they’re trying to be too au courant and pick more recent, big blockbuster hits (like The Mummy or Twister) that don’t always stay popular with age. Perhaps if they stick with classics like King Kong, or movies with images that stay in your head like Edward Scissorhands (we know that’s not a Universal movie, but it gives you the idea), it might work better for them. We do wish that they took more advantage of the “movie studio” subplot and made it seem more like a place where movies are actually made. Sometimes you’d be walking down a street and it’d just look like a boring New York-style street with shops; you’d forget that (according to Carrie) it was supposed to be a boring street that was constructed as a movie set, that the park’s atmosphere was meant to be a series of layers: a replication of a set, which is itself a replication of NYC street. So you’re never looking at the thing itself, or even a movie replication of the thing, but a replication of that. To help that idea, it’d be cool if—instead of seeing just Marilyn Monroe—you saw some guy trying to direct her in a movie or something. Rusty, however, doesn’t give the park that much credit and simply thinks they wanted to do their straight-up version of NYC and Hollywood because that’s where movies are made. Either way, the main thing the park needs is scenery and ambiance. It needs to be an enjoyable place to walk around in between doing things, and right now most of the settings are kind of dull to look at. Just not enough places to take good pictures. The good news is that their second park, Islands of Adventure, got it right—so now Universal Studios serves as kind of a not-as-good EPCOT merged with MGM to Island's Magic Kingdom. Again, we seem to have nothing but complaints and suggestions for improvements, but we did have a fun time at this park and just hope they go in a better direction. Their newest ride, Revenge of the Mummy, is one of the best in the two parks, so maybe they are. Production Central A bland, cement-based section of Universal Studios, just because it looks like a production lot. It also seems like this area might expand one day, since it only has two attractions, both for kids, though the Production Central "theme" doesn't exactly seem appealing to children. Jimmy Neutron's
Nicktoon Blast We like the idea of combining a theater-sized 3-D movie with a moving, ride-like vehicle (usually the simulators are smaller, or the movies don’t move). But while the movie itself was cute enough, the narrative never came through and we never were sure why Jimmy Neutron was noisily and confusingly zooming us through all of these different Nicktoons—and why he was screaming the entire time. The bouncy seats were more annoying than fun, a bit too herky-jerky, with too much emphasis on the zooming and screeching halts and sputtering. We did enjoy when the seats “danced” near the end of the ride. Of course, we could hear the kids gasping in recognition every time a new Nicktoon would appear on the screen ("Hey, there's Sponge Bob!"), so I guess that's who it was made for. We’re old grumps, so we probably would have liked it better if it were the Smurfs. Rusty: C+ Shrek 4-D Before a lot of attractions at these parks, there are what we call “holding pens,” where they cram the audience together before letting them into the main part. This, like many others, was one of the annoying ones where everyone’s supposed to stand around and look up at a TV. We get bored of that easily, and we much prefer the lines where you wander through something and have specific stuff to look at (though we realize that’s not always practical, especially with a theater show). The movie itself used the usual 3-D movie interactive "tricks" you see at Disney World (squirts of water, blasts of wind, etc.) but with moving seats for the bumpy parts of the movie. The movie works better than most in that it actually tells a story that you can follow, as opposed to the pure noise of many of these kinds of attractions. All of the actors (Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, etc.) are back for this short sequel that tells a little story from where the first movie left off. Fans of Shrek will like it better than us, but we liked it fine. Rusty: B New York Another visually boring section of the park. It’s got a pretty good replication of Central Park, but (again) Carrie would rather it be a replication of a movie set of Central Park, and Rusty would rather have it actually be a mini version of NYC itself (complete with Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, etc.) instead of just the park. Also, why is Twister and The Mummy here? It would help if the rides were more thematically linked to the areas they’re in, the way it works at Islands of Adventure. The plus side of New York is that it’s got some pretty flowers and there are nice places to sit and relax. Twister… Ride It Out This one was strange. Instead of getting in a moving car or having a place to sit at all, you simply stand on a platform and lean against a rail. It wasn’t crowded when we went, but it seemed like if it had been, it would have been impossible for short people or kids to see. So they should work on what to do with the spectators: at least maybe set it up like we’re looking out a window? The effects themselves are pretty cool in that you get to see a “real” tornado. There’s fire spewing and signs flying everywhere and it’s all windy and misty, and for a few moments you get the peaceful sensation of watching bad weather from a protected area. But not enough happened and there wasn’t enough of a narrative. Since it felt like a “holding pen” anyway, when it was over we expected we might go on to the real ride, but then we didn’t and were like, “Is that it?” Rusty: B The Blues Brothers Just one of those street shows. Rusty sort of saw them jumping around out of the corner of his eye. We dislike street shows in general because they make it difficult to walk around the park. Street Breakz Now what does break dancing have to do with anything, again? We didn’t see them perform, but we saw Breakin' so that's close enough. Revenge of the Mummy The best ride at Universal Studios. Stephen Sommers himself worked closely with the development of this ride, and it came out as one of the most interesting rides at any theme park. Even the queue is interesting, with its Egyptian theme and plenty of stuff to look at and a few surprises and puzzles to figure out. Once you begin the ride, it starts innocently and fun enough as a Disney-style animatronic ride, mummies talking to you and that kind of thing. Then suddenly you're shot forward and plunged downward and the thing has unexpectedly become a really fast roller coaster. All the while, you're having fog blown in your face, fire sprayed at you, and other little elemental effects that are a cross between really cool and really distracting from the fun of the roller coaster itself. Two of the main surprises is that the coaster goes backward and that there's a "trick" ending. The darkness of the ride is the key; because you can’t see the track, you never know which way you’re going to turn next. And with all the zooming and stopping and crazy turns and riding backward, everything is still smooth, no herky-jerky. This ride was nicely-conceived and is fun and exciting even when ridden multiple times. Rusty: A Delancy Street
Preview Center We didn't see this; we’re not even sure it was running when we were there. Seems like a cool idea. Sorry we missed it. San Francisco/Amity A kinda half-decent version of San Francisco (the Fisherman’s Wharf area is pretty close to the actual thing), with a section made to look like Amity from Jaws. The hanging shark, etc. helped it seem more like a movie production atmosphere, as opposed to New York, and provided more photo opportunities. But, just like New York, we’re not sure why some of the attractions were here, proving that Universal should just scrap the whole city idea unless they do it better. Beetlejuice's
Graveyard Review We skip all live shows and encourage you to do the same. Earthquake—The Big
One No one much remembers the movie Earthquake. It was one of many disaster movies of the 1970s, and not particularly memorable to begin with. Even when this ride was first released, it was—like so many of the movies represented at the park—outdated. Of course, the name Earthquake doesn’t necessarily have to refer to the movie, so it maybe doesn't matter for most people anyway, but the special effects show and ride itself isn’t that great anyway either. The show before the ride was kind of lame. Unlike the horror make up show (discussed further below), the average Universal guest wouldn’t learn anything new about how movies are made. For example, there’s an explanation of the blue screen where some audience members get in a boat, then you watch on a television screen to see how the water, etc. appears. What’s not explained is how that happens. So there’s no real learning through the demonstration. And, besides, who doesn’t know about blue screen by now? As for the ride itself, when Carrie was eleven, it was brand new and awesome, but now it’s just not scary enough for anyone, even eleven-year-olds. When Carrie was a kid, the water main break was really cool, but now you get sprayed with water on practically every ride, so it’s no longer fresh. Also, when the big vehicle starts falling toward your car, it moves way too slowly to be scary or thrilling—or for anyone to suspend their disbelief enough to actually think it’s going to hit them. It’s just a slow truck that stops too far away from the riders to be anything but dull. The best part, perhaps, is that trademark Universal Studios fire, where the fire starts and you get a blast of really hot, oven-like air against your face. But none of this has any effect if you’re on the wrong side of the subway train and you don’t get to see it (only the people in the middle really get to properly experience the ride—they probably added cars on either end to hold more, but that’s an educated guess, not confirmed). Overall, a little bland for what it’s supposed to be. Rusty: C+ Jaws The Jungle Cruise of Universal Studios, complete with a joke-telling boat operator. Also like the Jungle Cruise, your experience will be better or worse depending on who you get as the guide. Luckily, we got a pretty funny hipster bingo. The ride itself is pretty fun. You get to see Jaws pop up a few times (on different sides of the boat, so everyone gets to see him up close), and you get to see him get fried at the end—he becomes an electrocuted dead brown shark floating up in the water. A leisurely ride for a movie that will probably always be popular. Rusty: B+ Fear Factor Live This wasn’t quite out yet when we were there, but if you like watching people eat bugs and animal genitalia while going shirtless and showing your buff bod (male) or wearing tank tops over your big boobs (female)—or if you like eating bugs and animal genitalia yourself while going shirtless and showing your buff bod or wearing tank tops over your big boobs—we predict you’ll love it. World Expo We’re not sure what "World Expo" means. Sounds like they didn't know what to call this tiny corner of Universal, so they grabbed something from EPCOT. Men in Black: Alien
Attack This is one of those rides that's part ride / part game. The game part—zapping aliens in order to increase your score—is fun enough. Rusty thinks it’s a bit distracting if you’re just looking for a fun ride, but Carrie likes the distraction of the game because it gives you more to do than just sit in a car and watch things go by, especially when those things are just aliens popping up with little targets. More elaborate sets and scenery would make the ride better. Disney has a similar ride based around Buzz Lightyear (we think Universal’s came first), but this one is superior because the laser guns aren’t attached to the console, allowing better aim at your targets. In Buzz Lightyear, you have to spin the car around yourself to aim, which is a little fun to do, but the alien ride also spins when your car is hit by the aliens who shoot back, so there’s plenty of spinning to be had. At the end of the ride, Will Smith lets you know if you did well or if you sucked. Rusty: B- Back to the Future:
The Ride The DeLorean is great. This is one of the better simulators because you are actually enclosed in a small space (the DeLorean doors come down on either side, like the real thing) with an open top for seeing the huge screen and nothing else. In this way, the ride is better than its Disney equivalents—Body Wars and Star Tours—because it feels like you’re a passenger, not an audience member sitting in a theater waiting to see a movie, especially the way in which the car is “launched” at the beginning. There’s a story about Doc wanting you to hit Biff's DeLorean with yours while going 88 to "bump" him out of time or something like that (not sure if Robert Zemeckis approved of that dumb idea), but basically you're flying around and it's pretty fun. It’s especially nice when it stops zooming and you feel like you’re floating through time. This is also a good example of a movie that, unlike Earthquake, has stood the test of time. At least we think so: you’d have to ask an eleven-year-old if Back to the Future is still cool. Rusty: B+ Woody Woodpecker's Kidzone This is more like it in terms of theme. Everything here is for kids. Why Woody Woodpecker, I'm not sure, other than he's an old school kinda guy and they wanted to class up the joint. Of course, this section of the park is only slightly more colorful than the rest. Animal Planet Live! The Animal Planet channel is the greatest: if you're randomly flipping through the TV and land on it, you're likely to see a whimpering dog being eaten by flies or a horse with a hole in its neck. It's even more exciting than landing on a plastic surgery program. We didn’t see the show (remember, we don’t do shows), but we feel that if you’ve seen one animal show at the zoo, you’ve seen them all. But maybe it’s a super-duper animal show. Who knows? A Day in the Park
with Barney Barney might be the worst character ever created for children. Do children even like him anymore? Curious George Goes
to Town If your kids are willing to get wet (okay, drenched), this might be the best playground in all of the parks. This was a great idea for people who want to visit the parks multiple days—because you can only go on the rides so many times, and a lot of the Islands of Adventure rides aren’t appropriate for tiny kids. But if you have a full day and small children who've brought their bathing suits, this attraction alone could be entertaining to them for hours (yes, hours). There are like a zillion things to do with water, including squirting each other with hoses from on high, going into a car wash-style room, plenty of hidey-holes and look-outs, and all kinds of spurting fountains. It's useless if you're not willing to get wet (or if you don't have children), but it's great for what it is, and the Curious George theme looks cute. Rusty: B Woody Woodpecker's
Nuthouse Coaster This is a good starter coaster for children, adults with children, or anyone who just wants to ride a simple coaster that's not going to scare you to death (or be so non-thrilling that it’s boring for adults). It's fun and colorful and Woody Woodpecker laughs at you when you're about to go down the hill. Rusty: B Fievel's Playland A decent playground for children with all sorts of large objects so you seem to be the size of a mouse. The most interesting part is that there's a 200-foot water slide, a ride within a playground. In the end, it’s just a little more upscale version of a normal kids’ play area, and Carrie thinks that—for a parent—it wouldn’t be too much of a difference from hanging out at a nice playground back home. Rusty: C+ E.T. Adventure This ride used to be better before they removed the individual bikes and added an eight-passenger tram instead (in order to shuffle more people through at a time, not that many people ride it anymore). For one, the little trick of getting your “interstellar passport” where they type your name into a computer so E.T. can personally thank you at the end doesn't work as well. Instead of saying "Thank you, Knobby" or whatever for each person, E.T. says “thank you…” then lists three random people's names from the tram. Not a huge deal, but it does make the whole name-entry process a waste of line time. The other thing the multiple-bikes does is that, unless you're on the front row, you don't get a good view of what's going on, and that's the entire point of the ride. You also, of course, lose the feeling that you’re “flying” on a bike with E.T. in a basket in front of you (a basket you don’t see unless on the front row), and you really need a certain sense of quiet solitude (just you and the alien) for the mood to work. Instead, you lose the weightless feeling because this big vehicle is much heavier and you’re likely to be crammed between two people with heads in front and behind you. But if you are on the front row (and if you don’t particularly care about your name being called and you can ignore many of the other problems), then this isn't a bad ride at all. In fact, it's kind of nice. It's basically the Peter Pan of Universal, where you soar through the air and look at cool stuff below. There's a nice moment when you're flying over the town, looking down at all of the tiny city lights, similar to when you're flying over London on Peter Pan. Being on E.T.’s home planet is also nice as an extension to the movie. The animatronics are nice and cute here, reminiscent of “it’s a small world.” In spite of its problems (we also hear it stops a lot—indeed, it got stuck once when we rode it), it's a pleasant ride. Rusty: B+ Star Toons Character
Meet and Greet Just random animals walking around to shake hands and get your picture made with. Fun for kids. Hollywood This part looks a little better than the rest of the cities, maybe because Hollywood is just naturally more interesting-looking. It’s got the walk of stars, the fake Brown Derby restaurant, and is a cool little area for just strolling, beyond the rides. And Rusty got a great photo of him and a reasonable facsimile of Marilyn Monroe here, so that counts for something. Universal Horror
Make-Up Show It wasn't a song-and-dance type show, so it was legal to watch this one. We somehow thought we’d like it, and we did. Funny, if typical, gags with fake arms, fake blood, and real-looking knives. We’ve seen all the make-up tricks before, but if you were just an average movie fan, you’d probably actually learn something about how gore work in horror movies. The hosts were what made it special, though. The special effects guy who lead the thing was really funny, and there was great chemistry between him and his co-host, who we think was pregnant with his baby. They were really cute together, and—to Carrie—the jokes about blood and gore were funnier because of the presence of the pregnant lady. Rusty: B+ Terminator 2: 3-D
Battle Across Time A decently average 3-D movie with the usual smoke and crazy stuff going on, this time with actors who seem to come out of the screen, but who never face the audience for fear of revealing themselves as other than Linda Hamilton or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Most of the movie on the screen is more of a regular movie than a 3-D movie until the big creature comes out, and it's easy to follow (something not usually true of these noisy 3-D movies), but it feels like rejected chase scenes from the real movie. Rusty: B- Lucy: A Tribute It's nothing you have to wait around for, you just walk around at your leisure, but we weren’t incredibly interested in what was essentially an average television memorabilia display (a costume here, a signed letter there, tiny TV screens with clips) when there's roller coasters and stuff around. Rusty: C |
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